Geekiest Jokes Ever

Geekiest Jokes Ever

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!” We’ve heard this haven’t we? You must’ve read many blogs from us which more or less talk about subject. For a change, here’s a blog with jokes. Ahmm!! Jokes, only geeks and nerds can understand.

Here are some intellectual jokes, which we hope will tickle your geeky ribs.

• I put a root beer in a square cup and now its just beer.

• Girlfriends of Programmers want their boyfriends (programmers) to have some class, but they don’t want to treat them like objects.

• How can you depict cell division with simple characters? It’s simple [o 0 8 oo]

• How do you represent sugar cube via chemical formula? (C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁)³

• What would a programmer working at a road construction site write on a danger sign? “Error 404; Road Not Found”

• With great power comes great difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

• One day Proton calls up Electron on his mobile and says, “Electron! It’s me, proton. Where the hell are you?” To which Electron says, “I can tell you where I probably am, but not where exactly am”

• What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.

• A guy buys 2 “Math for Dummies” and the guy at the counter says, “2 math for dummies at $16.99 each. That’d be $50.”

• When oxygen went on a date with potassium, it was OK. When oxygen went to a date with magnesium, everyone was like, “Omg”. When nitrogen is asked whether it was a joke, it says “NO”.
• What is alcohol? According to Chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
• Yo mama’s so mean, she has no standard deviation.

• Two men walk into a bar. One man orders h2o. The other orders, I’ll have h2o, too. When the order comes, the second man dies.

• A programmer says to his boss, “we won’t be able to deliver the project on time as MySQL has problems” to which the boss says, “What!! Then use someone else’s SQL and complete the work”.

• A programmer speaks to another programmer and says, “did you hear the creator of McAfee is wanted for murder. I heard the trail will last for 30 days”.

• A mathematician goes to a bar and asks the waiter how much is f(x) = 3x²_. For which the waiter replies, “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions”.

• Wife: Honey, I can’t open this jar
• Programmer husband: Try reinstalling Java.

• In an attempt to bring down the rising electricity bills, the management of a college sticks a notice at every switch board in the college asking students, lecturers and staff to turn off the switches when not in use.  As a reply, physics students from the college stick a paper saying, “Jokes on you! Energy is always conserved”

• A chemistry student says that Ironman is female. When asked proof, he says, “Iron = Fe and Man = Male. Ironman = Female; Hence proved!”

• A Buddhist disciple asks his master,”Can I use email”. And the monk says, “sure, as long as there are no attachments”.

• According to one estimate, 3.14% of Sailors are PiRates!

• Why does Python live on land? Because, it is above C level.

• A terrified wife wakes her programmer husband in the middle of the night yelling, “honey, wake up, there is a bug on the bed”. The husband who’s asleep, murmurs, “what is the severity of the problem? Please log it in our Defect Tracking System or ask for offshore team to look at it” and goes back to sleep.

• Theory is when you know everything, but nothing works. Practice is when everything works but no one knows why. In our lab, theory and practice are combined. Nothing Works and No One Knows Why.

• Once a room temperature super conductor enters into a bar. The bartender says we don’t serve super conductors in this bar. And the super conductor leaves the bar without putting up any resistance.

• What do you do when elements are sick?
  You try to Helium, then you Curium, and if nothing works out, you Barium!

• A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop walks up to him and says, “Welcome sir, do you have any bags I can take for you?” The Photon replies, “Nope– I’m traveling light!”

• What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.

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